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Week 3 Report: Boyz II Men
Welcome one and all to the 4th week of our 2023 NFL season. The contenders continue to separate themselves from the pack, while the race for MHJ remains alive and well for the have-nots of this league. We almost went our first week without a trade being made, but Delea made sure to break Zach's spirit one text at a time, until he had pinged him into a state of sedation. It was then that Mike made his move like a thief in the night, snatching away JSN before Zach could come to his senses. In seriousness - this 2024 draft could be 10 WRs deep with legit NFL talent, so it remains to be seen what the long term outlook for both teams will be.
It's written a few more times in here, but shoutout to our current league ass-clapper Walt, who is averaging 150 a week and - more impressively - would be a downright absurd 26-1 if he played every team each week so far. Let's see if one of the contenders can catch up. We have 6 (!!!) teams at 2-1 so, like Lisa's pussy when she sees Tim's trade with Nick, this league is WIDE OPEN. Time to find out who will make the push.
Killian vs. Chris | Chris wins 112.7 to 97.5
Summary: This game can be summarized quickly: Death by Keenan Allen. Without his mega 47 point performance, this could have been a sneaky L for Mr. Perez, but a gigantic game helped buoy his team having 4 players go under 5 points.
Conlan vs. Nick | Nick wins 157.1 to 150.1
Summary: The week 3 Matchup of the Week did not disappoint, as Nick was able to hold off a late rally from Davante and Hurts and secure a massive win to match Conlan at 2-1. He celebrated in Prime Pay fashion, immediately bitching that his team who lost to Tanky Tim the week prior should now be above Conlan.
Vinny vs. Walt | Walt wins 175.7 to 139.6
Summary: Vinny put up a great fight, but Walt is currently just too much to match. Repeat stat, but Walt would be 26-1 if he played every team every week so far. We'll see if Achane can take Vinny over the top.
Mike vs. Tim | Tim wins 90.9 to 70.4
Summary: The Battle of the Tankers (one who knows he is and one who will accept reality soon enough) was as expected: a "Battle of the Tallest Midget." The MPF standings will matter more than Brodie moving to 2-1.
Tom vs. Zach | Zach wins 136.6 to 106.4
Summary: Zach is putting together some serious momentum, but with a major injury to Mike Williams it remains to be seen if he can continue his strong stretch. Tom is looking to string a few wins together while his team gets healthy, as he should contend for a championship with a full lineup, even without Chubb.
Mike trades: Jayden Reed, 2 2024 2nd Round Picks, 2024 3rd Round Pick
Tim trades: JSN
Summary: Persitance pays gents, and let this be a prime example of that for any doubter of the phrase. Rumor is that Zach's apartment nearly burned to the ground after his iPhone overheated due to the influx of texts from Mike regarding a JSN deal. Zach made a big bet on the depth of this class, which as of now, looks like it has a chance to pay off. Mike acquired the best WR talent from the '23 class, though it could be a slower development than we originally thought. No worries though, as it'll just help his 1st round pick get better and better.
