Week 1 Report: The First Chapter
Welcome to week 2 gents. Walt proved our power rankings right with a barn burning 134.9 to 128.7 win over Tom, while Zach and Delea got smacked so hard it caused a small earthquake in Taiwan. Tom had some bad luck in week 1, as he would've beaten every other team in the league. Consolation prize? He has Mahomes and Zay. Must be nice. Conlan, Vinny, Nick, and Chris joined Walt at 1-0.
Our Matchup of the Week (also known as The Geek of the Week) was Nick vs. Delea. By losing, Mike has been crowned our first ever Big Dog of the Week. Doesn't mean shit except you can call him Big Dog until Monday. Reminder: Matchup of the Week is not the "best" matchup of the week. It is the matchup with the potential for the most geek outcome.
This week's Matchup of the Week is Brodie Tim vs. Brodie Pay. Originally, I had a different matchup in mind. Then Tim dropped a nuke in the form of 52 points from JJ and Swift after their mega trade was completed. While it's early in the season, Tim handing Nick an L while attempting to tank as Nick goes for a chip is simply too geek to pass up. BOL to the Brodies.
Killian vs. Vinny | Vinny wins 111.2 to 91.6
Summary: Nothing to see here. GG Vinny
Conlan vs. Tim | Conlan wins 114.8 to 83.82
Summary: You can call Tim the Altar Boy because team Catholic Church had his way with him. The tank off begins.
Nick vs. Delea | Nick wins 127.7 to 71.1
Summary: In fairness, Mike knowingly sold his soul for the top 2 dynasty RBs in the market. Some promising performances from rookies like Bijan and Addison act like a soothing rectum gel after the largest deficit pounding of the week.
Tom vs. Walt | Walt wins 134.9 to 128.7
Summary: Covered in the summary, but Diggs clutched up for Walt in a Monday night thriller to kick off the year.
Zach vs. Chris | 101.7 to 49.96
Summary: In what could be the lowest output of the year, Zach's players delivered a bed shitting for the ages. Safe to say this fluky output can be put in the rearview, as his lineup is stronger than currently advertised. Meanwhile, PPP Founder Chris Perez rode an Aiyuk mega game to his first victory.
Conlan trades: Christian Kirk, David Montgomery, Puka Nacua
Tom trades: Dameon Pierce, Christian Watson, 2025 3rd Round Pick
Summary: Conlan gets his man crush Christian Watson, and Tom gets his prodigal son Puka NaCooperKuppJr. This trade could easily break in either direction long term.
Nick trades: Garrett Wilson, 2024 1st Round Pick, 2026 1st Round Pick, 2027 2nd (spit shake deal)
Tim trades: Justin Jefferson
Summary: Sweet baby Jesus. What started with an offer for Ja'Marr Chase ended with the biggest trade of the 2023 season. Turns out the Pay premium wasn't the trade cock-block that we thought it was. This trade could break in either direction - an early playoff exit from Nick would have Tim harder than Vibranium, but a championship win for Nick would leave Tim with less than he expected when hitting accept. Either way, Block. Buster.